The day I became Brand Manager.

Ah,

Today. Today is a very special day in my life. And i thought that I should write about it. I have written something every year. and its nice to read these things. I read it today & really loved it.

Yes, so i was talking about the day. I love how i write my thoughts thinking aloud. Cool, back to topic. It was my first appraisal in my working life. It came really late, I had to do push my manager a lot, I planned a lot about the things I am gonna say in the meeting. Oh yeah, It was eventful & an important day for me. But i kept my head level through everything. Believe me you, this man, my manager is an intellect of the highest form. St. Columbus ,St. Stephens, IIM Ahmedabad. And it doesn't stop there. He went to Bain&Co., the best consulting company in the world. I mean he is the creme de la creme of India. And he is my manager. :D.

So yes, he is one tough nut to crack. I mean people have tried and given up. But yours truly actually managed to get everything out of him what he wanted :D :D (Had to use three :D)

Not only he gave me a fat appraisal, but also (drum-rolls please), he made me the BRAND MARKETING MANAGER of the company. Its a dream come true for my professional life or say the common 9-5 office life. I was ecstatic. Well, I am actually & that's why I am writing this down.

Wow, Thats something. I am really happy today. It took me two years but I bounced back BITCHES!
Life took everything from me - job, love of life, my stability but i kept going. You can live long enough to survive but it takes courage to battle it head on & survive. I my head this line sounded great.

And i will continue to fight. Stay humble to others, fight hard, keep going,  Focus on you work, be aware of people around you, never forget who helped you when no one was there, stay calm and always , always , always have confidence & trust on yourself. Never ever ever lose it.

And trust me, I am going to conquer this world. I would be the one who ruled. We are the TITANS,
I AM a TITAN.

He was the one who got away

She had a 8 year long abusive relationship. It had been a year since she had come out of it. Till now she was living with her parents, surrounded by people & a cute dog who loved her, thus she never felt the loneliness. The dog had filled the gap, the void was filled.

But now she had come to MICA, a new place, first time away from home. She was a bit lost , the place felt alien, she didn't know how to be and what to do.

She was struggling with all this that there came a man,a boy to say, who understood her storm. He would talk to her as if he knew her. He would be that fig in the ocean who held her when she needed it the most. He loved her like anything & she grew. She found her place in that world through 'Chinar' of the place.

But now the tables had turned, the guy left. The girl knew how to venture in the dark . She had found the path, the path to be.

Unfortunately, the guy was lost now. he ventured into unknown territory. He seeked help, he seeked support. He seeked love.

But she had none to offer. She was empty. She had nothing to give . She couldnt deal with the expectation. She was healed though and he was broken.

She left him. She left him in the lurch. She left coz she was unable to offer what was expected. She left him coz she wanted to live. She left him coz he was wanting something in return which she could not give.

Its sad that she doesn't realize, its always a give and take. Its always two way. Love, relationship is two way. She thinks that she will be happy, that she can live without his love. But she doesnt understand that nothing is permanent. Not even happiness. Love is.

She took him for granted. but one day the tide will turn, she would face what the boy did. And she wont be able to share because there won't be anyone standing on the other end to hold her & tell her that everything is going to be okay. Its okay.

She will realize it ,not now, but after 6 months from today & she will know the extent of damage and pain she inflicted on the boy. And he would be heeled by the time that day comes.

I write it now, this day after six months, she will be sitting alone & wondering whom can she talk to. Where is everyone. Was he right. He should have been here. He was right about this.

He was the one who got away.

Heya Fellows,

This is my third post now. Life plays with you in a way that you can never imagine. There was me,in the last post, ranting out about how I don't want to settle down and don't want to do a 9 to 5 job. I want to love what i do and all that. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Now listen to what had happened to me last year. Three months after the second post i got into a relationship. The girl was my junior and also was fresh into college. Touted as the prettiest of the new lot, I went on a date with her and then we to started dating each other.

Initially i stuck to my guns but down the lane i got serious in the relationship and cut myself off from all my friends. Then i graduated and started working. Now i had no one else but her to talk to. I became clingy and she never supported me in this, instead she started taking steps back, became less responsive and more self centered. Also as it was a long distance relationship, with her still being in the college and evolving into a different person, i could not understand her point of view as she won't always tell about whats been on her mind.

Now after trying for almost a year, she broke up with me. And the funny part is that she did it on New year. This was in addition to my troubles of loosing my first job. Fresh out of college, ready to prove it to the world, and then the company gets shut down. LOL.

And now i don,t Naukri and chokri, ironically i had both in the beginning of last year.

Now although i still love her a lot and would do anything to win her back but i realized that the person i loved in college has changed. She is not the same person anymore.

So i don't love the person she is now and have told this to myself to get over her. She was a fine specimen when she came to college but it isn't the case anymore. She has become someone else, a person who doesnt want to to give our relationship any chance. I love her so much that i am ready to understand this person and mend the past. I am ready (actually i have) to change myself and accept all my flaws which made her move away from me.

But such is life. I still believe that she is gonna realize my worth in her world and come back to me but till that time i have to give her the space. which is 15 days from now. After which i am gonna meet her.

I pray to god that she comes back to her senses in these 15 days and i become a stronger man as in college and we continue to stay together.

Because the girl i met was perfect for me and i was perfect for her. Sex was great and we were evolving together .

Damn wrote a lot about it , Top of my mind all the time.


     

So i think this would be my second . and now i think it is a really good stress releiver and a platform to vent out . Just putting out anything infront of the people without a secong thought how it would effect others.

So today i was just thinking that why a man wants to settle down. The goal of life is always to settle down. but  ithink why to settle down why leave that passion that anxiety that unrestfullness to do something, to be something more. It's like you will and will always go downhill if you are settled . Why not keep that flame alive, that's the way to keep the desires alive. What bothers me is that , suppose after getting a girl (i love d beauty of the blog could have said relationship but i can be as blatant i want) the guys and girls stop trying for everything . They become fat and just two of them want to just be together neglecting all others, why is that i would never want to be like that. Like my friends they are completely cut off from our group and just spend time with their girlfriends , i mean why , why would somebody would turn like . and also u awont get sex and cant do sex 24x7. I mean dude , you become dependent and stop having the fun u used to have of going in groups without any purpose. i donno abt how it goes overseas but i think in india its going wrong>  And the fun part is one of my friends GF is so chilled out that she would allow him or rather wants him to hang out with his friends but he is always up her ass. 

This was just one way, I mean why would people want to lead a life like where they dont have anything to work for . They completely forget the rush of a chase. leave that thing people just want to work in a company settle down and lead that miserable life .

Why cant they follow their passions, why cant their life be like the painter in woody allen's movie vicky christina barcelona . just be free to do that. But i dont know people want to grow mature and just stop having fun. I don't know if its my frustration or something else which is leading me somewhere but i am not ready to settle and i want that constant desire to be better alive. I dont want to lead a miserable life where all people do is work 9-5 and just constantly juggling with work and family and no learning. 

I want to be more , I want to be in  a place where there is constant learning , where i am going constantly better . and most of all . I WANT TO LOVE IT. I dont want to go down the pages just as another human being. I would do what i love. Something which s my 'organic curiosity'.

and the fun part is that i am still confused about what my real passion is bt i guess this year awits me for that. and i would spend it for that .

ADIOS 

so today is 25th of may. I am in banglore doing my internship. With all the complains about the company not doing well, not living upto its potential, with the founders not deserving enough, Me and my roomate (the same guy is in my company also, really nice guy, a big time rock fan) with another guy decided to go for a movie " tanu weds manu returns. So we ate our dinner and the show was at 10 pm in garuda swagat mall in jaynagar. And the best thing was that another show was available at Central , jp nagar but we decided to go to this place because we somehow calculated the money and central was though 160 but some calculation with distance and taxi fare indicated to go for this mall. By the way the movie plan totally out of the blue as we just made the plan and akshit didn't even book the tickets, sorry spoiler.

So we reached garuda mall to find out that only front row seats were available and thus with vinay with us ( who was constantly following an aunty with humongous ass, well it was big) to not to watch the movie. And another thing happened, which was quite unnatural, as we(well it was vinay who pointed it) saw 60 Rs just lying on the table of a closed confectionary shop. Weird right.

so vinay picked them saying they were meant to be used for taxi fare and yes, we paid our return fare from it. Now the story gets better. Hey by the way we abused akshit a lot and took his case for not booking the tickets and bringing us here, lot of fun in that. Yup , so we booked taxi for sure and a 52 tr old guy picked us who by the way didnt liik 52 and thats why i mentioned his age. He told us that that he earns 5k per day and also that he has worked in IISC for 15 years where he has worked as arranging taxi and providing conveyance for people in IISC.

The point is when i asked him that how is able to work daily from morning 6 to night 12, every freaking day, that too driving in bangalore traffic, only god can help you to stay sane. He told me that two thing are really important in life.
first is to eat properly, and second is to try taking less stress.
Now the second point he made, he told that take stress for 10 min or 20 or max 1 hr but do get rid of it after that. He said that socialize with your friends and other people as conversations really help you to destress. That was one hell of a teaching.

Another awakening was through karthik kumar from Evam. An ex-mican who started sankalp. saw his you tube video at some college. great guy, exhuberates confidence and conviction.
He gave the idea to always follow your " Organic Curiousity " in one's life and to explore it always.
Also another thing which he accentuated on giving equal weight to the concerns of your parents. Hmm cool ,dont feel like writing anymore.